“Houston! – We have a problem!” – or: how do I deal with the virus danger at home?

Yeah, I know. Probably none of the Expats or their families want to hear. If you’re like me, there’s not much else to talk about right now. Everything in my professional and private life is full of Corona – and I don’t mean the kind of beer *joke*, had to be 😉.

This article will not give you a list of all known information. Instead, I would like to finally shed light on how people should behave best at home because there is nothing about that, except a few brief rules like washing your hands. I will change that now.


The 1. and only rule that should apply to you at home:

Everything that applies to work/business applies at home from now on.

Easy? Obviously not so easy to put into practice, at least in my experience for over two months. Therefore, I have written down the most important things for you.

A detailed explanation of rule 1:
I strongly recommend a separation between the partner who works and the one who is at home. If there are children, this is somewhat unfavorable and a hardly calculable safety risk, which then, unfortunately, has to be borne by the partner who stays at home. If both partners work away from home, you do not need to observe any rules at home, as there is no higher risk at home than when you are away.

So you will get the virus to about 100%, if not you, then your partner. According to the top virologist Dr. Drosten of the Charité Berlin, 60% of people will get the virus.

Focus (translated):
The virus will only stop spreading when two out of three people are at least temporarily immune because they have already had the infection, said Christian Drosten, Director of the Institute of Virology at Charité. “With a total population of 83 million, two thirds would be almost 56 million people who would have to become infected in order to stop the spread. With a mortality rate of 0.5 percent, 278,000 corona death victims would have to be reckoned with,” Drosten explained.

In principle, Expats always give priority to everything that concerns their job. This should also make it clear that the primary concern is to ensure that the working part of the family does not become infected so that the company can continue its business. As there are many men among them, one has to expect an increased panic, especially with the coronavirus, as this virus rather infects men. Why this is the case has not yet been clarified. I suspect that the virus is a bit misogynistic.
That the virus is rather deadly for older people over 65 (Dr. Drosten does not rule out a mortality rate of 25%), we leave aside here. People at the age of – let’s say, Donald Trump, should not work anyway.


Greetings and goodbyes:
Shaking hands, hugging, kissing, and all other physical contact is to eliminate. ALL! For particularly persistent cases of panic in men, this is an excellent remedy to cure the panic attacks quickly. This has been well tested for decades, with all kinds of behavior in men in relationships.

Masks are redundant like a goiter – at least if you are not sick. They usually soak through within 20 minutes and then no longer offer protection. Impacting viruses pass through them smoothly. With most masks, even on the sides anyway. Only people who have any cold symptoms should wear a mask. This way, others know what is going on and can keep a greater distance. This is called taking responsibility. If everyone wears a mask, everyone will get infected, because nobody knows who might be contagious and who might not – apart from those who spread the virus and have no symptoms. Besides, it’s then also not visible whether people with signs of sickness staying at home. What does that mean when I go to the shopping mall with my mask on and stroll around half the day?

Washing your hands and disinfecting them is super important, it’s and always has been. So it’s embarrassing that this is now continually emphasized like this. But the reality shows that there are still many people who don’t wash their hands after going to the toilet. But maybe they also think that it’s enough to use toilet paper – at least that would explain the hoarding.
Even gym equipment is not disinfected after use, which is more than disgusting and testifies of really great stupidity—coronavirus or not. I see people continuing to cough without holding their hand, elbow, or whatever. They tap on cash- and ticket machines and then reach out to their faces. By the way, gloves don’t help here either. You may still touch your face, and a virus may stick to your face even when you take off your gloves. Ok, I could probably fill a few more pages about this – but that should be enough now.


Conduct in public areas (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom):
Expats often have two bedrooms and bathrooms. One bathroom is now only used for the partner who also goes to work. The other bathroom is sufficient for the children and the partner who stays at home. Do not mix! Because on surfaces, the virus can exist for a while. And clean daily, of course, or use after each one!

Everyone gets their own bed. After all, the rule says that there should be a distance of about two meters. You can’t achieve that in one bed, no matter how big it is. If you do not have enough possibilities, then the sofa has to be used. Or you can saw the bed in two parts if that is possible. In any case, there must be a clear separation here. The virus strictly adheres to the two-meter rule.

Meals:
Turn the table lengthwise and don’t sit crosswise to get more distance. Alternatively, one partner can eat in the kitchen and the other in the living room.


In the kitchen, both partners should never touch the same thing. In the future, it’s better to agree with each other who, for example, will operate the coffee machine and who will open the refrigerator. Cooking should only be done by the person who is not outside as an Expat, because there are many variables. It should be clear that food from other plates will not be eaten, either. Useful if there is a dishwasher, because, at 70 degrees, the virus has no chance.


Conduct in public areas – outside:
Shopping for two? Maybe with the children? Absolutely not! This multiplies the risk of infection unnecessarily. Here again, the risk is taken by the partner who is not working or is not outside as an Expat, but only as an accompanying person. For freelance work or other activities, the following applies:
Whoever earns more is more important!

And always disinfect house keys and door handles inside and outside! It is best to pay only with a card, which you will, of course, also sanitize. Do not touch the banisters, press the elevator buttons with your ankle only, and push the doors open with your foot or elbow only. If in doubt, wait until someone else opens the door. There must be time!

Dinner or excursions?
Canceled! Why? The companies have canceled all events as well. Flights to meetings are practically non-existent and are now only held via video conference. All because of the extreme danger of the virus. You can just turn on the TV and watch a documentary about Disneyland with the kids. You can make popcorn in the microwave.

Eating with friends or playing? You can also do that via video conferencing! And holidays are also entirely overrated. As an Expat, you live on holiday all year round.

Basically, you have to be careful who or what you believe anyway. This uncertain situation, what the WHO or your embassy says, does not apply, nor does what SOS or your host country recommends. Only the mixture of everything that the company of the working partner describes is valid. This means that you are no longer allowed to make unauthorized decisions if this conflicts with the company’s guidelines.


And there was also…
I don’t know if you noticed, but this article is very ironic and sarcastic. It’s satire, actually. A lot of things are exaggerated, but I’m basically very serious about it. On the one hand, the domestic situation is not even remotely taken that seriously, also though we risk raising the mortality rate of our elderly citizens to 25%, and on the other hand, the behavior of companies that are exclusively focused on economic interests gets on my nerves.

Live your life, enjoy your time – if you don’t belong to a risk group, then pay a little more attention. Don’t let them drive you crazy. Even if some experts like Dr. Drosten are right and every second person (in Germany, but if there, then also somewhere else) will get the virus over the years, it only means that most of the people will only get the flu and many will not even get that.


If you want me to talk about something in particular, please write me a message.

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